来源:环球教育
小编:Eileen 71托福写作如何才能得高分?都要注意哪些问题才能避免低分?现在就让我们看一看高分范文!看看需要注意哪些要点才能突破托福高分~
托福写作高分5分范文:选自OG
题目:Some young adults want independence from their parents as soon as possible. Other young adults prefer to live with their families for a longer time. Which of these situations do you think is better? Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.
范文:
Most young adults prefer to have a seperate or independent life from their parents or families as soon as possible. This is because they have a strong urge for freedom in doing what they desire. But in fact many of them fail. This should not be surprising since often they are actually not ready mentally although they are physically ready. It is widely understood that to live independently requires a lot of energy and is not easy at all.(给出现在年轻人想要独立却受限的现状分析) In this twenty first century, people may need more and more preparation because competition is increasing rapidly. An observation shows that many University graduated students are unemployed. Therefore, they will not be able to support and fulfill their necessities.(引入研究结果:很多大学生找不到工作来说明年轻人的竞争压力)
So living independently at an early age is not suitable for all young adults,(给出作者观点:并非每个年轻人都适合立刻独立出去!) some young adults may need to take more time to prepare themselves before going out to struggle. Young adults need to be ready to support themselves. Taking time to get more education and living with their families for a longer time may lead them to a better independent life because they will be well prepared for the hard-life outside. (给出理由:年轻人在外打拼需要学业准备)Still, living with their families for too long will not be a good idea because they could get to used to it and tend to be less independent.(让步,当然也不能一直和父母在一起)
The time to live independently depends on the person himself. He or she must decide whether they are ready to leave their parents to have an independent life or not. The decision will vary from one person to another. A person should judge that he is capable of fulfilling his needs without being dependent on his parents; this indicates that he is ready for his independent life. Otherwise he might need to stay longer with his parents.(年轻人什么时候适合离开父母独立呢?给出具体分析)
托福写作高分要点一:论证充分、有自己的风格。题目要求对"年轻人尽快离开父母独立"和"年轻人和父母生活较长一段时间再独立"两种状态做出选择,认为哪种状态更好。这篇托福写作高分范文论证很充分。作者并没有按照一般的托福写作套路分一、二、三个理由来论证,而是真正从分析问题的角度来出发写作。这点对一般考生要求较高,但是这种不是模板化又可以自圆其说的写作容易得高分。
托福写作高分要点二:逻辑清晰、结构流畅。尽管写作中没有很明显的结构层次划分,但是考生的思路展开是清晰的:现状分析得出观点:不是每个年轻人适合立刻独立---分析理由---给出进一步分析:年轻人要找准时机独立出去。整体看来围绕着年轻人要不要独立、独立的时机写作。结构完整、内容联系紧密。
托福写作高分要点三:语言运用不错。长短句结合,尽管没有很高级的词汇但是选词合适,有一些很小的错误,比如University graduated students的表达中式化,但没有影响最终得分。
以上就是通过托福写作范文分析为大家介绍的托福写作高分要点。看来,托福写作备考的重点在语言基础、思路的清晰。同学们你们学会了吗?
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